I'm a genie in a bottle, baby

There are few things that I know with certainty...

1. I'm pretty much cooler than anyone else I know.
2. Aladdin was one of my favorite movies second only to Beauty and the Beast (I mean, how much cooler could anyone be named?!?! Belle and Gaston?)
3. People who sing Karaoke should sing with conviction, despite how poorly the guy behind you thinks you are.

Those are my absolutes.